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Pop is playing his hunting video-game, and he must have the TV cranked to the top volume. Funny, I cannot actually hear it in my room, though it is so clear just as I step out of my room: the physics don't seem right. I don't ask Pop to lower the volume since it's not really bothering my sleep, but, cripes, can't the old guy get a grip on himself.
Nov. 12th, 2011
November 9, 1995, Thursday
Nov. 12th, 2011 10:31 amNostalgic weekend. I didn't forget.
The plan was suppose to go back and forth between the Old Journal and Blurty, from weekend to weekend, but I don't feel like pulling away from the Old Journal when I am in the middle of this memo pad. So, I'll finish this little notebook, being close to halfway through it, and then I'll do a couple of weekends at Blurty, I think.
******
Jack speaks of marriage. So, it is love. Jill wants their own apartment.
===============
November 12, 2011
I imagine Jack tried to sell her on the idea of moving into Bay Horse and simply take Prissy's place, even if he didn't put it quite that way. I can only wonder if Jack liked the idea of having his own domicile, in a manner of speaking, or if he preferred the idea of staying at home and sapping my spirit. In any case, Jill will get what she wants, at least for a few months, and then there will be trouble.
The plan was suppose to go back and forth between the Old Journal and Blurty, from weekend to weekend, but I don't feel like pulling away from the Old Journal when I am in the middle of this memo pad. So, I'll finish this little notebook, being close to halfway through it, and then I'll do a couple of weekends at Blurty, I think.
******
Jack speaks of marriage. So, it is love. Jill wants their own apartment.
===============
November 12, 2011
I imagine Jack tried to sell her on the idea of moving into Bay Horse and simply take Prissy's place, even if he didn't put it quite that way. I can only wonder if Jack liked the idea of having his own domicile, in a manner of speaking, or if he preferred the idea of staying at home and sapping my spirit. In any case, Jill will get what she wants, at least for a few months, and then there will be trouble.
November 10, 1995, Friday
Nov. 12th, 2011 11:47 amThe sexvids came in. The joy and denouement of "Secret Desires".
===============
November 12, 2011
I am a little surprised to see that I was still collecting videos that I had seen advertised on mom and pop's old Yokota video collection, still on the hunt for those old rapey gems that are almost impossible to find since the new 'no force' regiment in porn.
But I probably shouldn't be surprised. I am pretty sure I was still getting some when we moved to Dun Hill. Before the Internet, that was my porn life, that and Star Distributors paperbacks. It just feels more humiliating that this should be so when Jack is getting married to Jill, in addition to the appreciable sex life he came to enjoy ever since he first got started with Prissy.
Was I still getting them after Mother died? I had already gotten into my reading life by then, so that I was more interested in putting my little money into books rather than porn. But I was probably still hoping to fish up something hot every once in a while. As I recall, things got bone dry and hopeless, until December of 2002, when Pop came home with our first computer, the gateway to a whole new world, not only for porn, but for my writing and my social life.
It's just a pity that there was not enough momentum for something to carry over into real life, with respect to my social life, though we did come rather close, that summer of 2005, pretty close, which I guess will be it for my whole life.
===============
November 12, 2011
I am a little surprised to see that I was still collecting videos that I had seen advertised on mom and pop's old Yokota video collection, still on the hunt for those old rapey gems that are almost impossible to find since the new 'no force' regiment in porn.
But I probably shouldn't be surprised. I am pretty sure I was still getting some when we moved to Dun Hill. Before the Internet, that was my porn life, that and Star Distributors paperbacks. It just feels more humiliating that this should be so when Jack is getting married to Jill, in addition to the appreciable sex life he came to enjoy ever since he first got started with Prissy.
Was I still getting them after Mother died? I had already gotten into my reading life by then, so that I was more interested in putting my little money into books rather than porn. But I was probably still hoping to fish up something hot every once in a while. As I recall, things got bone dry and hopeless, until December of 2002, when Pop came home with our first computer, the gateway to a whole new world, not only for porn, but for my writing and my social life.
It's just a pity that there was not enough momentum for something to carry over into real life, with respect to my social life, though we did come rather close, that summer of 2005, pretty close, which I guess will be it for my whole life.
the touch-pad
Nov. 12th, 2011 12:25 pmI finally found a way to shut off the touch-pad on the laptop. I had accidently deleted much of an entry I had been typing, again, and I took another shot and trying to see if I could shut that damn thing off.
I figured there had to be a way, and I was hunting up options on the desk top, without success. I started looking again for a hardware answer, a switch. I thought it was hopeless. Then I saw that small, inconspicuous button that is above the touch-pad. It seems obvious, but I assumed the control would be off to the side rather than on top of the keyboard. Nevertheless, it's done! No more sudden deletions, finally!
I figured there had to be a way, and I was hunting up options on the desk top, without success. I started looking again for a hardware answer, a switch. I thought it was hopeless. Then I saw that small, inconspicuous button that is above the touch-pad. It seems obvious, but I assumed the control would be off to the side rather than on top of the keyboard. Nevertheless, it's done! No more sudden deletions, finally!
All this bit about the actress and her personal and professional life isn't terrible to read, and I am only 35 pages in, but there is this sense that something better start happening soon. I would have preferred reading "Eisenhower", or doing any of my book-blogging. I'm worrying that I am just wasting more of my life, not to mention the twenty dollars.
my nap time
Nov. 12th, 2011 02:31 pmIs Pop purpposely picking this time, two-thirty, to watch his shows on the kitchen TV because he knows this is usually my nap time?
But why? I cannot see why he would be pissy over anything.
It is a familiar wish to see one's family in heaven, but I think I would be happier not to see them again for all eternity. There is really no love there, either. A half-brother could hardly be more estranged. A mother who only really cared for said brother. And a father who is in his own universe.
In his own universe? That is kind of like me. I wonder if that's where I got it from.
Just me and Bo would be great, hanging out together in heaven in eternal bliss.
But why? I cannot see why he would be pissy over anything.
It is a familiar wish to see one's family in heaven, but I think I would be happier not to see them again for all eternity. There is really no love there, either. A half-brother could hardly be more estranged. A mother who only really cared for said brother. And a father who is in his own universe.
In his own universe? That is kind of like me. I wonder if that's where I got it from.
Just me and Bo would be great, hanging out together in heaven in eternal bliss.
November 11, 1995, Saturday
Nov. 12th, 2011 03:43 pm1. Strong winds frighten Bo during the night. The winds also caused more damage to the fence.
2. Monk and Mother argue more about respect, intelligence, and power. The issue of the government shutdown serves as the backdrop with the possibility of Pop becoming unemployed.
==============
November 12, 2011
Remember, this is the Bay Horse fence, rather than the white lattices that Mother put up here at Dun Hill. I don't remember having trouble with the fence at Bay Horse, with the possible exception that it could not keep that terrier out.
As for the argument with Mother, I can only wish that I had gotten a few specifics. There is no hope of recalling it. The only thing we can see is that this was a time of strain over the power-relationships in the family, with Jack's supposed ascendency and my stagnancy. Though, again, I am sure she would not have had any problem leaving Jack be if the situation were reversed, as was the case, it may be recalled, before he finally got the job at H.E.B. and met Prissy. Into his twenties, he was just living at home and watching television, and she certainly did not apply the least pressure, as he was her little prince, and he would have stayed that way if things never changed with him, no matter what was Pop's employment status. Though, it would be a wonder that their two sons should be so stultified, as was the situation for a while.
2. Monk and Mother argue more about respect, intelligence, and power. The issue of the government shutdown serves as the backdrop with the possibility of Pop becoming unemployed.
==============
November 12, 2011
Remember, this is the Bay Horse fence, rather than the white lattices that Mother put up here at Dun Hill. I don't remember having trouble with the fence at Bay Horse, with the possible exception that it could not keep that terrier out.
As for the argument with Mother, I can only wish that I had gotten a few specifics. There is no hope of recalling it. The only thing we can see is that this was a time of strain over the power-relationships in the family, with Jack's supposed ascendency and my stagnancy. Though, again, I am sure she would not have had any problem leaving Jack be if the situation were reversed, as was the case, it may be recalled, before he finally got the job at H.E.B. and met Prissy. Into his twenties, he was just living at home and watching television, and she certainly did not apply the least pressure, as he was her little prince, and he would have stayed that way if things never changed with him, no matter what was Pop's employment status. Though, it would be a wonder that their two sons should be so stultified, as was the situation for a while.
Miley's Rounder Face
Nov. 12th, 2011 04:08 pmApparently, Miley has gotten defensive about being called fat. I think I can understand the hubbub, but I think it is misdirected, for I don't think she is particularly overweight, but that her face seems to take the pounds, rounding out her face away from the standards of show-business beauty. I wonder if I'm just not seeing the weight, becauase it does seem like an odd condition that has developed.
(Source: ONTD)
(Source: ONTD)
My pulse picked up a bit. When we come to the Oija board. I know, hardly original, right? But this was forty years ago, so it was not quite as stale as it may seem today.
The neat part: Regan plays by herself AND gets all kind of answers.
I was disappointed when Blatty cuts away from the scene, but maybe he just wants to tease things out furher. Okay, he's not losing me, but we need more of that chill of expectations, not less.
The neat part: Regan plays by herself AND gets all kind of answers.
I was disappointed when Blatty cuts away from the scene, but maybe he just wants to tease things out furher. Okay, he's not losing me, but we need more of that chill of expectations, not less.