Dish TV

Monk says, "First thing in the morning: five messages in the inbox. Like I said I still have a little e-life at PolitiCartoons."

Daimon smirks, "Yeah, but not one of them is going to say they are crazy about you. No one is going to give you a pic of their tits."

Monk says, "No, but it is better than ... silence, that absolute blankness. And even this is probably not going to last much longer."

Monk then says, "In any case, I need to prune the elephant ears, as well as take care of Trash Day."

***

Pi says, "Aw, the ears finally have that more slender look. They look sharper."

Monk says, "Yes, I usually have them thinned out weeks before this, I think, perhaps by early July, and here we are into August. And although the first half of summer was relatively moderate, we certainly have not been denied the savagery of the extended wave, as we are getting it good now. Which is presumably why I have finally needed to cut these ears back. This heat has finally gotten to them, despite my heavy and constant watering. But, yes, they do look good. And if I may so myself, the grass also has a fetching tint of greenness about it, in spite of this heatwave. It is amazing what just one watering day can do. I guess nature just needs a little help."

Daimon says, "I see that the weeds out back have that nice healthy tincture of green as well."

Monk drops his head and gives a snorting laugh, "I have to help the trees. And I am afraid that the weeds are holding the trees in hostage, so that I cannot help the trees without helping the weeds. Life is full of nasty compromises, I guess."

***

Monk says, "The Dish guy is here. We had to pull up roots and settle in the bedroom for a while. I'm not really confident that he is going to be able to give us a good fix. Pop pays over a hundred dollars a month for TV, maybe close to two hundred by now, and we cannot get the programs, at least not without a lot of interruptions."

Daimon says, "So, get cable!"

Monk says, "That might have been tempting a few weeks ago, but as it happens, there is a titanic struggle going on between the cable company and some of the broadcasters. Right now, you cannot get CBS and Showtime on cable."

Daimon says, "Is that a loss? As I recall, you are not much for the family networks anyway."

Monk says, "True. But I am into the final season of "Dexter", and that is on Showtime. And, of coure, there is Pop. He probably watches a lot of CBS."

Daimon says, "Well, I thought you liked to read. I remember you saying that sometime. Can't you just get more books?"

Monk says, "Sure, losing the TV would not be that much of a problem for me, but it might kill Pop with boredom."

***

The Dish guy is in the house doing his thing, and Pop is still in his room. Monk goes to check on him. "Pop, are you up!?" He whines that he is up, but his leg is really hurting him. Monk sees that the door is unlocked and opens it, and Pop really is having a hard time. He says that he is in a lot of pain and can barely walk. Monk reminds him that he has a cane. And Pop finally comes to the party.

Daimon says, "I think this is what you mean when you speak of elderly decrepitude."

Monk says, "Yeah. It's more than a little scary. What are we going to do if he can no longer function like a normal man? If I had a driver's license, we might be able to make do for a while longer, but I don't.

***

Monk says, "Maybe I shouldn't have left Pop alone with the Dish guy. He sold Pop a couple of surge protects. I suppose we can hope that this might actually put a stop to the interference in the signal we suffer everytime some one switches on the garbage disposal or uses the microwave oven, but I am not overly optimistic."

Pi says, "He also gave you a guys access to their Blockbusters movies. And for free."

Daimon chuckles, "Yeah, but no titties, ain't that right, Monk?"

Monk shakes his head, "Nope, I don't believe so."

Daimon says, "Blockbusters is one of those Christian businesses, and titties and full-frontal nudity would provide an entry portal for the demons of hell."

Monk nods, "So, we should be pretty safe from demons, yay! There may be a few good movies every once in a while, but I am glad Pop is not paying anything for this privileged access, if you don't count the cost of the surge protectors."

Daimon asks, "Are you going to ask how much the surge protectors were?"

Monk says, "Nah, I don't have the heart. After hearing that guy blather on about all the special research that Dish put into them, I suspect it is a good premium price."

Carson McCullers

Here is a juicy fact about Carson McCullers, the author of "The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter".

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Carson liked sherry with her tea, brandy with her coffee, and her purse with a large flask of whiskey. Between books, when she was neither famous nor monied, she claimed she existed almost exclusively on gin, cigarettes, and desperation for weeks at a time. During her most productive years she employed a round-the-clock drinking system: she’d start the day at her typewriter with a ritual glass a beer, a way of saying it was time to work, then steadily sip sherry as she typed. If it was cold and there was no wood for the stove, she’d turn up the heat with double shots of whiskey. She concluded her workday before dinner, which she primed with a martini. Then it was off to the parties, which meant more martinis, cognac, and, oftentimes, corn whiskey. Finally, she ended the day as it began, with a bedtime beer.

Her recuperative abilities are the stuff of legend—she would rise the following morning, shake off her hangover like so much dust, down her morning beer, and get back to work.

-- Paris Review

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I wonder how she was with men.

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen has a new string of girlfriends. I didn't know he lost all of the last three. He shows he's the man; he has them posing with him in public and topless, showing off the titties. Pretty young looking too. A nice blonde along with a brunette and a ginger.



{ONTD}

Kay

The phone rings. Monk says, "Whoa, it's Kay!"

Pi says, "Wow, it's been a long time. I was thinking that she and your father had a fight."

Daimon says, "No doubt, Monk was hoping for that."

Monk chuckles, "It looks like she might have gone on a trip instead, perhaps to visit family, maybe." Then he adds, "It feels like it has been a whole month since we have heard from her or seen her, though it's probably more like a few weeks. Life was getting kind of comfy for me again. On the other hand, Pop was starting to get surly again, too. In any case, it looks like this has been but a brief respite and things are going back to the way they were."

Daimon says, "Of course, you have no real idea what is really going on."

Monk nods, "True. I only feel it."

Afternoon Dessert

Pi says, "Oooh, another sugar jag!"

Monk sets down his oatmeal creme pies and coke, "I know. It's crazy. I had another big lunch. A big bowl of chili. But this commanding urge for sugar owns me."

Daimon says, "Well, maybe when you start suffering from acid reflux in the middle of the night, again, you will calm down."

Monk nods, "That's what it will take. Otherwise, my body tells me that there is no reason not to give it what it wants, despite how fat it is making me."

Movies

Daimon says, "You seemed to be more interested in those movies."

Monk says, "I was. I discovered that there is a broader selection, even porn movies."

Pi giggles, "I guess those must cost money, huh?"

Monk nods, "Yup. And seven dollars seems to be the standard fare. For the non-porn movies. Though, I would have been willing to pay if they had ... say, "Kick-Ass 2", but I guess it is too soon for that movie, and besides, that one will probably cost ten dollars."

Daimon says, "It just doesn't pay not to have money. It is a good things you like books."

Monk says, "Yes, but those cost money too. In fact, I am looking to make a substantial order this weekend. That will probably remind me that I need to forget about these movies. I have to be very strategic with my few dollars."

"Should I shower, or should I not?"

Monk ponders, "Should I shower, or should I not?"

Pi says, "I thought you had fixed a policy on this question: whenever you find yourself debating this very question, the answer is 'yes, don't pass go, don't collect $200, just go straight to the shower!'"

Monk nods, "True, but I am planning on taking a walk tomorrow morning, and the morning is not that far away."

Pi laughs, "It's hopeless."

Monk says, "Alright, alright! I'll take a shower. My hair is pretty gunky, and there was that rather heavy-duty wank this afternoon. And I'll sleep better."

Daily Fun

This Lily Is Mine! by paddler60 on Flickr. American goldfinch

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