
I hope I don't vomit tonight in my sleep. Kay didn't come over until seven this evening, and then they left for a late dinner. Having the kitchen to myself, I didn't want to simply heat up a pot pie, as was my original intention for dinner. I wanted something ... more fun. But I couldn't think of a damn thing. The only thing that came to mind was another fucking frozen pizza. I just had Little Caesar's pizza on Tuesday. But it was a new brand that I wanted to try, and I figured it would be a good idea to get the low-down on it before pop and I go to the commissary tomorrow. It was better than a pot pie, but it was still, you know, frozen pizza, again. I only hope that it stays down when I'm sleeping.
I'm writing about frozen pizza and throwing up, but what I am really doing is hurting and dying of loneliness. Of course, this is the point, when it comes to a lot of these journal entries, focusing on a very particular if terribly mundane detail of the life, to try to get my mind off a bad track, to think about something else, anything else. The evenings are especially hard. During the days, I am reasonably content working on my book-blogging. But the nights: my body is running on low ebb, and I cannot really work seriously on any of my projects (which is also why I like to read light, escapist fiction at this time), and I feel the emptiness of it all, and I feel like I have had enough of this. Writing past it is the best answer I have.