Thursday Morning
Jul. 31st, 2014 07:19 amOne of the things I hate about summer - summer nights in particular - is waking up in a sweat-drenched bed.
Unable to fall back asleep, I started thinking about Douglas and my last two years of high school. It occurred to me that my complete marginalization did not stop there, but that it actually continued for the rest of my life, as though I have absolutely no business being here taking up space and oxygen. I sort of try to make my own business, writing my musings in a journal, and I read less from leisure and more out of necessity to make up for my absence of experience in the worldly affairs around me.
Actually, about being marginalized and pushed off to the side of life, I suppose it was true before Douglas and South Dakota, at least when it came to the more intimate games that young teens play - those kissy-kissy games, first making out, fumbling into sex or date-rape. I was out shooting baskets or watching a movie.
Unable to fall back asleep, I started thinking about Douglas and my last two years of high school. It occurred to me that my complete marginalization did not stop there, but that it actually continued for the rest of my life, as though I have absolutely no business being here taking up space and oxygen. I sort of try to make my own business, writing my musings in a journal, and I read less from leisure and more out of necessity to make up for my absence of experience in the worldly affairs around me.
Actually, about being marginalized and pushed off to the side of life, I suppose it was true before Douglas and South Dakota, at least when it came to the more intimate games that young teens play - those kissy-kissy games, first making out, fumbling into sex or date-rape. I was out shooting baskets or watching a movie.