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Aug. 24th, 2014
Old Man Fantasy
Aug. 24th, 2014 10:33 amA vision of myself as an old man, lying in bed, dying.
~ ~ ~
Hello, Death, you have finally come for me. You certainly took your time. I am sorry I was not able to do something more with the opportunity. So, is this the end of the line? Or are we going to someplace better? Don’t tell me we are going someplace worse!
~ ~ ~
Hello, Death, you have finally come for me. You certainly took your time. I am sorry I was not able to do something more with the opportunity. So, is this the end of the line? Or are we going to someplace better? Don’t tell me we are going someplace worse!
I was going to have some ice cream this afternoon, finish off the bananas that are rotting in the cupboard. I had a light lunch and am a little hungry. But Pop is spending the afternoon in the kitchen, watching TV. I don't want to tempt him to ask me to give up the big room. I can stand to be a little hungry. Judging by my gut, I should have been hungry a lot more often in my life.
Conspiracy Against the Human Race
Aug. 24th, 2014 07:09 pmIf you believe that life sucks and then you just die, how do you deal with it?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
In plain language, we cannot live except as self-deceivers who must lie to ourselves about ourselves, as well as about our unwinnable situation in this world.
[He goes on to list four strategies that we use to deceive ourselves to make life bearable, borrowing from Zapffe.]
isolation (“Being alive is all right”), anchoring (“One Nation under God with Families, Morality, and Natural Birthrights for all”), distraction (“Better to kill time than oneself”), and sublimation (“I am writing a book titled The Conspiracy Against the Human Race”).
[...]
Without this cognitive double-dealing, we would be exposed for what we are. It would be like looking into a mirror and for a moment seeing the skull inside our skin looking back at us with its sardonic smile. And beneath the skull - only blackness, nothing.
-- Thomas Ligotti, “The Conspiracy Against the Human Race”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I guess you just do the best you can, look for a little fun, maybe do something that feels a little fulfilling to you. You have to try to keep it from crumpling you in crippling depression when all you think about is suicide, if only because that is just plain boring. Cats are good.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
In plain language, we cannot live except as self-deceivers who must lie to ourselves about ourselves, as well as about our unwinnable situation in this world.
[He goes on to list four strategies that we use to deceive ourselves to make life bearable, borrowing from Zapffe.]
isolation (“Being alive is all right”), anchoring (“One Nation under God with Families, Morality, and Natural Birthrights for all”), distraction (“Better to kill time than oneself”), and sublimation (“I am writing a book titled The Conspiracy Against the Human Race”).
[...]
Without this cognitive double-dealing, we would be exposed for what we are. It would be like looking into a mirror and for a moment seeing the skull inside our skin looking back at us with its sardonic smile. And beneath the skull - only blackness, nothing.
-- Thomas Ligotti, “The Conspiracy Against the Human Race”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I guess you just do the best you can, look for a little fun, maybe do something that feels a little fulfilling to you. You have to try to keep it from crumpling you in crippling depression when all you think about is suicide, if only because that is just plain boring. Cats are good.