American Psycho

It’s date night with Patrick Bateman, a real lady-killer.

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In the bedroom she’s naked and oiled and sucking my dick and I’m standing over her and then I’m slapping her in the face with it, grabbing her hair with my hand, calling her a “fucking whore bitch,” and this turns her on even more and while lamely sucking my cock she starts fingering her clit and when she’s asking me “Do you like this?” while licking at the balls, I’m answering “yup, yup” and breathing hard. … “Oh god,” she’s saying. Excited, I slap her, then lightly punch her in the mouth, then kiss it, biting her lips. Fear, dread, confusion overwhelm her. …

Later, predictably, she’s tied to the floor, naked, on her back, both feet, both hands, tied to makeshift posts that are connected to boards which are weighted down with metal. The hands are shot full of nails and her legs are spread as wide as possible. A pillow props her ass us and cheese, Brie, has been smeared across her open cunt, some of it even pushed up into the vaginal cavity. She’s barely gained consciousness and when she sees me, standing over her, naked, I can imagine that my virtual absence of humanity fills her with mind-bending horror.

-- “American Psycho” by Bret Easton Ellis

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Quote

“And if one has only one good memory left in one’s heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.”

-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, "The Brothers Karamazov"

Thanksgiving

I said I wanted to write more regularly, and I am almost always rewarded with being able to pull out some more memories and somewhat interesting reflections with the effort, but it surprises me how much focus and will-power it takes, even for just a little old journal entry. I suppose I can relate how Thanksgiving went. We did not go to Jim's Restaurant, after all. We were ready to. I was dressed up a bit to go. We had locked the doors and widows, and Pop hid his diamonds and valuables.

Earlier in the morning, he felt obligated to go to H.E.B. and buy a pumpkin pie. I certainly did not ask for it. He has some picture in his head that he must fulfill, as his wits are wasting away. He also bought a couple of small turkey half-breasts that were already cooked and hot. He said he wanted them for 'leftovers'. Part of the picture in his head is that we have leftovers for a few more meals, and just going to Jim's would ruin that. However, I seized on his acquisition and suggested that we forget about Jim's and just make our Thanksgiving meal out of this. And so we did. And the best part is that there were no guests this year, for the first thanksgiving in a long time. I hope this starts a new tradition.

The meal wasn't bad either. It was nice to have something a little different in my diet, something that is a little off-chicken, and something that is not Swanson's.