Charles Bukowski

“I kept writing not because I felt I was so good, but because I felt they were so bad, including Shakespeare, all those. The stilted formalism, like chewing cardboard.”

-- Charles Bukowski, 1972 letter to David Evanier

Hallway Dialogue

I came across John and Sandy today, in a Hallway Dialogue, the young, good-looking blonde couple from my law school days. She said, with a smile and a chuckle in her voice, that she saw the 'Blondes' poster in my bedroom. I feel a little awkward and fall into a blushing silence. She said, "There was one joke I liked: how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?"

My eyes go squinty and my brow furrows. I have had that poster on my wall for years, close to two decades, and for the life of me, I cannot remember ever coming across that joke. I shake my head in embarrassed defeat. "I cannot remember that one."

John chortles. Sandy's smile widens and brightens as she shakes her head in either disbelief or pity. She gives the answer, "One. She holds the light bulb, and the world revolves around her."

I nod appreciatively. "That is a subtle one. I remember more the other ones, the more sexually provocative ones."

John laughs. She shakes her head in amused disapprobation, "Yeah, yeah, blondes wear panties to keep their ankles warm, and hoop earrings to have a place to put their ankles during sex. The worst one: what does a blonde say after having sex?"

I know this one. "Are all you guys on the same team."

She laughs, shaking her head, "Terrible!"

I shrug, smiling, drinking in her lithe blonde body with my eyes, imagining its warmth in my hands.

~ ~ ~

The old Hallway Dialogues. I almost forgot about them. It had been years since I have had one, as though I had finally outgrown them. Well, they're baa-a-a-ck! I suppose it is because of the new depths of my loneliness in my post-LiveJournal life. I kind of hope they are back. I could use the imaginary company. It's nice to have someone to talk to, even if they are just voices in my head.

I do not believe that 'John' and 'Sandy' have been in one before, not in any of the many Hallway Dialogues that I had in the '90s ... no, that's not true. They have been in a few. He had the speaking role, and she was the one who just sat prettily by his side. He was on the successful path, pursuing the big corner office, and I ... was not.