a good morning's sleep!

Whoa, a good morning's sleep!

Usually, even if it is not as bad as a five o'clock morning, it is close to it. With a five or six o'clock bathroom run, along with taking care of the cats, there's no real sleeping, but only a little dozing. This morning, though, after a three o'clock bathroom run, I was not conscious again until the siren of a loud meow, and I was shhocked to see that it was already seven-o-five. I was thrilled. Pop wasn't even playing his country & western noise, making it seem like all the stars were lined up right. I felt some regret with the idea that, but for that meow, I might have slept through till eight, but I felt more like celebrating than anything.

This also meant that there would be no early-morning blogging rounds, but I am more than okay with that. Considering the poverty of my e-life, I will prefer a good, extended sleep every time.

pancakes breakfast

I'm glad I was able to have my pancakes breakfast, solidified with orange juice, not to mention a banana, and to ignore that new red velvet cake sitting pretty in the cupboard. After having chocolate donuts and coke for dinner last night, I would have been hitting a new low with dessert for breakfast too.

Someone is throwing up

Someone is throwing up quite a bit this morning. This is the second load. One of the cats. Either Coco or Ash. Sammy has been out all morning. I'm not scared, yet. I am nervous, though, and watching.

miss my nap

Pop left just before two (and for the record he did not get out of bed till about eleven, like the old days of, oh, maybe a couple of years ago), and I was in a mood and took the laptop to my room for a serious porn hunt. It cost me my nap. It's a good thing that I had a good sleep this morning, but I always miss my nap.

Though, I don't know if I would have been able to doze off anyway, since I have one neighbor playing rock band and another neighbor doing lawn work this afternoon. Can't blame them. It is a beautiful, springy Saturday afternoon, with that delightful nip of chill in the air. But I wish I didn't feel tired and sleepy.

God, I wish I could really feel good sometime, just once in my adult life, maybe one springtime, one season, before I die or become too old.

tempted to delete my porn

Having finished a "Cheers" episode, watching a few minutes here and a few minutes there, and being rather satisfied with the diversion, I feel strongly tempted to delete my porn journal once and for all, and to forget about Tumblr porn for good as well, and to just regard porn as a base form of entertainment that saps the soul and leaves you empty and hollow and more than a little ashamed.

The problem, of course, is that I just 'came' a little while ago (recalling that big porn hunt before my failed attempt at a nap). In brief, it is no time to delete everything, and I wouldn't bet on it happening at all, but I really do want to. I am sure that I would be a better person if I could. One only has so much life and only so much conscious thought to give to the world around onself, and it would seem clearly better not to waste it on girls' crotches and breasts.

On the other hand, maybe this is a silly mood. Maybe this mood is a dysfunctional throwback to Puritanical severity. Maybe I would do better to simply accept my animal nature. Being a man may just mean one will have an over-strong appreciation for female crotches and breasts and asses and the whole lot. Maybe moderation is the byword.

I am coming fast on fifty and I still don't know. At this point I am supposing that I probably never will.

nostalgic weekend

It just occurred to me that, once again, I have managed to go through all Saturday without doing one entry for nostalgic weekend. Again, it's not that it completely slipped my mind. I had the Blurty entry out, ready to be worked on, but it kept getting pushed aside. I don't know. Just too, too lazy maybe.

I think I should apply the original discipline of making sure I do one old entry first thing before doing any other thing, including a little reading in my novel, first thing after breakfast and first thing after my nap. Starting tomorrow.

I want to go to bed now

I think I am really feeling the loss of my nap. I want to go to bed now. I don't even have much interest in putting up my Mr. Saturday Night post. After all, it is not like I get a lot of feedback for my efforts. I would be better off just reading a little more Dickens and then calling it a night, and we will try again at life tomorrow and see if we do it better. Well, then again, it is only eight, so we'll give it a go and see what we got.

McDonald's

It looks like McDonald's is undergoing a radical makeover, even to the point of dropping its chief mascot, its clown.

Throughout much of my adult life, I had continued to feel the imprint upon my soul from my two years of working at McDonald's during my latter high-school years. I even had recurrent dreams. But it occurs to me that this has not been true for some years now, as though that part of my life has now fallen so far back that I scarcely recognize it, much less feel its influence on my soul.

Thirty years ago, wow! I still cannot believe that all these years have ran away from me, scarcely touched, scarcely lived. It scares me, how I let my life get away from me.

Trying to figure when I lost the McDonald's influence on my psyche, I am fairly certain that it was not with me since Mother died in the summer of 2000. I think it was before then, but I cannot begin to get more specific. I wonder if I left those ligering impressions and those recurrent dreams back at Bay Horse. Not that it really matters.