up at six

Again, the cats were left outside overnight, but I am up at six and cannot really fall back asleep, though I spend the hour trying to get as much out of lying there cuddled in my blankets as I can, instead of getting in an extra half-hour reading session, even though I am feeling only unmanly and dickless.

When Pop clicks on his jamboree at seven sharp, I have just gotten up on my feet anyway to go begin my early-morning blogging rounds, so it doesn't really matter that much; it even frees me to use the computer without having to plug in the headphones, and I can scarcely hear him with the door shut, and I can keep it shut because the cats are outside.

Mutating LiveJournal

LiveJournal's leadership has made it clear that their future American business strategy lies in generating new traffic rather than catering to the service's current small-but-loyal membership.

-- News

I can understand Brad's move to cash in on his ingenuity and efforts, but I wonder if he feels any pangs of regret over selling us out. Well, it's not like I have much of an e-life anyway, and so long as they can keep things running, I suppose it may not matter that much to me.

True, there is this sense that maybe it is time to put away childish things, but it's not like I have any good real-life options, and it still somehow feels a little meaningful to 'publish' my nonsense to the indifferent world at large, though a little more of the thrill wears off every year.

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Coco

Heh, I have never seen Coco, or any cat, lie down on the Lazy-Boy recliner. I like the effect very much.

June 11, 2003, Wednesday, 1151

I almost forgot Nostalgic Weekend. But it's early enough to save it, and to have my first full weekend in a while.

_ _ _

Daimon shakes his head, "You seem to be running a little rabid lately, even hitting up these WinMX chat rooms again."

"I know. I'm feeling a little of the fever of addicted compulsion, looking for some kind of action, my hormones running on boil." After a pause, Monk continues, "I think that it is related to my lack of communication with old Blurty friends. Kat and Eva at least took up my social energy. Now that they are out of my life, I'm going for all-out action, so to speak. Though, there is another side."

Daimon asks, "What is that?"

"I'm also giving serious thought to joining Book Addicts on Blurty, even recycling some of my book entries to get me started."

Daimon says, "It's a life without compass, isn't it Monk? Just spinning around wildly."

"I can think of worse ways to live than to enjoy books, porn, and sex chat. I'm not going to complain."

Daimon says, "But it is a life passing away. Without any significant accomplishment."

"That's old ground. It's not my calling to play any socially siginficant role. The only doors open to me lead to serf labor. I'd just as soon live as I do."

Current Music: Rape of a Jap Girl

===============

January 21, 2012

Kat and Eva? I have no idea who they are. I guess this is a problem when you use pseudonyms. It sounds like I might have renamed Crysling and Gnome, but I am not very confident about that answer.

A big part of the reason why I don't know who they are is because I see that I did not blog as much of my life as I imagined. For instance, my first debate post is in a few days, but I see no entries about the big evening when I made the post, or about how I was reading old entries from that community and was already stalking Furtive and Sugar. Indeed, there is apparently no entry about my big breakthrough that led me to consider the communities on Blurty, after the crushing feeling of seeing a blank 'friends' page after I got to know the little social thrill of having blogging friends. I am surprised that the community "Book Addicts" was apparently more on my mind than "Debate", though I can see how that makes sense, since I was grounding so much of my sense of self-worth on books rather than on debating.

This lack of self-reporting stuns me. Was I too busy?? Hardly. It makes me rethink my notions about the supposed 'missing entries' in the Old Journal, the pen & paper notebooks. It is easier to see that it is unlikely that someone took those entries, but, rather, I just never penned them, as inexplicable as this sounds to me. I guess it is a function of my on-and-off memory.

My laziness doubtlessly gets much of the blame as well. Even sitting down and doing what I supposed I liked to do, that is, writing, was too much. I should have made a habit of banging out my 1,000 words every morning. Instead, I relied on scatter-shot notes, and I ended up missing a lot of stuff that I actually cared about, which is amazing to me when I see how much I wrote about absolute shit, stuff I wrote just to stay in the habit of writing.

Freud

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Pop's morning in the kitchen

Pop spends much of the morning in the kitchen, at first talking on the phone, and now watching TV there. It really detracts from my reading and writing. It does not ruin it, but it takes a good 15% off my game.

But I can understand that he doesn't want to be holed up in his crowded office. I fear more that one day he will insist on taking over the big room. Why shouldn't he enjoy the house more? He pays for it, and, moreover, he is a very old man, who arguably should win more consideration, while I should have to tough things out more. It's not like I am doing anything demonstrably worthwhile, something that pays.

June 11, 2003, Wednesday, 1636

Monk comes in sweaty and sated, "Well, well, well, guess who just got cyber-laid for the first time?!"

Pi giggles, "How was it? And who was the slut?"

"Not bad. She called herself Hot Blonde Girl. I'll take the person's word for it."

"Hmm, sounds obvious enough," Pi says.

Daimon says, "It's too bad we don't have a transcript of that!"

Monk chuckles, "I don't think that it would be especially interesting, but it would be a nice memento for the first full sex session."

Pi asks, "Was it a WinMX chat room?"

"Yeah, I was reading some hot erotic stories, and this made me eager for a full go with a live person, even if in cyberspace. I liked it. But I don't know if I could do it again."

Daimon laughs, "Sure, you're full now. When you're in the mood again, I expect that you will re-discover the will." Pi laughs.

"You could be right. For the present, however, I am feeling the need for some refurbishment. I think that I will have an ice cream float." But Monk quickly has a change of heart, "On second thought, since my stomach is feeling a little sensitive for more sweets, I think that I will make a sausage sandwich, something a little more substantial."

Daimon mocks, "Hail the conquering hero!" Monk bows and gives a low sweeping wave, then goes for his frying pan.

============

January 21, 2012

This is what I mean about my memory. I could have sworn I wrote this, in significant part, for the amusement of my e-friends, but we are at a very low ebb at this time, as I have lost that Crysling-Gnome wave and have yet to catch the Debate wave. I suppose there is Effulgent Days and Kenties, but I cannot imagine crafting this for them.

Wait a second! It may be that I was assuming, and not necessarily incorrectly, that Crysling and Gnome were still reading my blog. And this entry would certainly entertain them. Funny thing, I even kind of remember this event.

Charles Dickens

I said I have one more article on Charles Dickens in the hopper. Let's take advantage of this slow Saturday afternoon to get that out of the way. Here is much of it anyway. It tees off from a BBC TV-adaptation of "Great Expectations" but goes on to a richer discussion.

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to Falstaff's house

Pop announces upon leaving that he is going to Falstaff's house. He could use the social life, and I am ever grateful that they are not coming here, thank god! I just hope he can keep from driving home drunk.