Food poisoning, I presume

Shit!

Literally.

I cannot believe I shat my shorts. I was just finishing my cereal and morning movie session when I thought I needed to let go of a little fart, but it turned into a shooting geyser of diarrhea.

Some Context:

Last night, after about an hour's sleep, I woke up and had a tough time on the pot. A really bad time. Food poisoning, I presume. One of those times when you reach for the trash can because you are afraid that you might have to throw up at the same time that your anus is spewing diarrhea. One of those times when you are wondering if life is really worth it and you think about the gun.

But I thought I was over it. I was feeling great this morning. Or at least as great as I ever feel. I thought I had it out of my system, and I was glad to be alive.

Obviously, I was wrong.

I don't know what the culprit is. My best guess: those pre-cooked hamburger patties. I made two burgers last night. I suppose you can never be sure about ground beef. They very well may get rid of their worst stuff in that pre-cooked concoction. But I'm not giving up on those patties yet. I need them, and they taste alright, and like I said, I really don't know what did it to me.

Amazon's nasty kindle books

I blew my morning getting sidetracked through Amazon's nasty kindle books. This is silly because I can get better stuff for free on the Web, especially since I see that Amazon has been scrubbing its porn catalogue and making it more worthless to me. Yet, a lot of their selections are only a dollar, and a couple seemed to possess enough kink for me to give them a dry: "Cherry-Go-Round" and a slutty teacher story called "Linda Makes Out". But I really got to stop this.

the clothes dryer

Ah, I see Pop is using the clothes dryer even though the air-conditioner is still running. Perhaps he saw Ms. Walker using both without the place blowing up. That is one less thing I have to be sneaky about.