A Dream of Mother

Dreaming...

Mother dislodged completely our glass sliding-door in the kitchen. And she refrains from calling anyone for help before the weekend falls on us, thinking that she could fix it, so that we are now stuck for a whole weekend with our door down and being unable to cover the big opening, leaving us exposed to the outdoors and all the flies, mosquitoes, and BEES!

I keep berating her, “How could you do this? Why didn’t you call someone?” That sort of thing. Going on and on and on. And she eventually changes the subject, by saying that she likes to take a swallow from that bottle of water that I keep at the bottom corner of the refrigerator for my personal use, and so I start harping on her about that violation.

Thus the dream.

Yes, I eventually did pick up on Mother’s tactic of taking advantage of my memory deficiency, which makes one think of the movie “Memento”. And, yes, I remember too well how much I would get in this kind of snit where I would just keep verbally berating her, repeatedly, going on and on, like a child suffering a temper tantrum. I did try to get on top of it, well into adulthood, but I do not think that I ever fully mastered it. Though, I perhaps came close to shutting this down when I finally got seriously into my reading life, toward the very end of her life, having something to focus on, enabling me to accept that there was nothing I could do to improve my life except to divert myself through literature, and I could largely ignore Mother and her mean little spirit.

At the end of the dream, I take a shot at fixing the door, thinking that it seems easy enough. I now also think that the dream is best interpreted so that Mother was perhaps also hoping that I would be able to fix it without needing to call anybody, but I could only be a disappointment, again, being too incapable and helpless myself, despite my lordly expectations and sensibilities.

LJ is still below 100,000

It is the middle of the week and LJ is still below 100,000 on its statistic for posts within the last 24 hours. It’s declining kind of fast now. I expect they will soon stop showing that statistic. It used to stick around the 200,000 mark, but that was a few years back. What is the floor, I wonder, below which everyone gives up, administrators and Russian owners.

Criminal Minds

Great, they go to the trouble of doing a character replacement and they replace one of the two hotties with a plainer woman. Some shows take themselves too seriously.

Pi asks, “Does that mean you are going to stop watching?”

Probably not. Even though I am a little tired of the repetitiveness, I also find something comforting in the formula, and I would hate to cut away for a movie and its own different rhythms. I’m not interested in buying more seasons of the show, nor do I care to start recording episodes on TV, as it is still a live show, but I feel kind of programmed to go through the three seasons of DVDs that I have. I’m in the middle of season two, which means I am half-way through. I am anxious to be done with it, though.

Too many draughty years

More rain. Not very much, but I thought this was going to be behind us for a while. The sky is still rumbling good like it still has to clear something from its bowels. I actually could have gone for a couple of dry weeks, but I am not going to complain. It feels like you should never complain about rain in the summer time, not any more. Too many draughty years.

shaved!

Gabe says, “Oh, you shaved! I thought we decided that it was better if you kept more of your face covered.”

I know, but since I am doing this morning jogging, I figure it is smart to put in a little effort to avoid scaring the neighbors. We wouldn’t want them worrying about whether I am trying to anthrax them or blow up the park. I really don’t want to have to talk to the police and show them my identification and justify my existence to them.

I was originally planning to shave once a month, but as the July shave kept getting pushed back as I sought that happy conjunction between opportunity and will, I decided to make do with one midsummer shave. I don’t expect to shave again until we are ready to kick off the library season in September.

“Now that you have your little e-reader and everything, do you really need to go to the library.”

Well, if nothing else, I definitely want to enjoy the addition of that chicken fried rice in my diet. Accordingly, I probably should save some money by using the library rather than Amazon. Maybe I’ll bring my playing cards and do my ‘random’ trick to pick a book.